Physical and Emotional Abuse Physical Abuse I think it is important to look at childhood physical abuse before we can look victims of domestic violence. It is my opinion that domestic violence is caused by childhood physical and emotinal abuse. According to research, there are three components of domestic violence: 1) behavior brought on by victimization, 2) learned helplessness behavior, and 3) self-destructive coping behavior. Even though many domestic abuse survivors swear they have never been abused, it is my experience from having worked with hundreds of women who have been a victim of domestic violence that there was either: 1) direct physical abuse the individual did not consider to be abuse, 2) emotional abuse, (see below) 3) the shame of a parent who was physically abused was past down through sub-conscious behaviors and/or stories of the abuse that the child acted out as an adult, 4) watching or hearing parents fighting, possibly engaged in physical abuse, 5) lack of parental support, quite possibly an abuser their self, that led to victimization, learned helplessness, and self-destructive behaviors. What is Physical Abuse? Physical abuse is deliberately aggressive or violent behavior by one person toward another that results in bodily injury. It is most frequently observed in relationships of trust, particularly between parents and children or between intimate partners (e.g., in a marriage or other relationship). Examples of physical abuse are: • hitting, slapping, shaking or throwing • tickling when unwanted • hair pulling, grabbing harshly • burning or scalding • drowning, suffocating or choking • pushing or kicking • restrainting or false imprisonment • using physical force to discipline • misusing medication • fabricating or inducing an illness or ill health What is emotional abuse? Emotional abuse is any type of abuse that involves the continual emotional mistreatment of a child. It's sometimes called psychological abuse. Emotional abuse can involve deliberately trying to scare, humiliate, isolate or ignore a child. Emotional abuse is often a part of other kinds of abuse, which means it can be difficult to spot the signs or tell the difference, though it can also happen on its own. Types of emotional abuse Emotional abuse includes: (most of these fall in the category of emotional victimization which leads to learned helplessness and self-destructive behaviors) • humiliating or constantly criticising a child • insults • threatening a child • shouting or yelling at a child • name calling • making the child the subject of jokes • attempting to scare the child on a regular basis • using sarcasm to hurt a child • blaming and scapegoating • making a child perform degrading acts • not recognising a child's own individuality or • trying to control every aspect of a child's life • pushing a child too hard or not recognizing their limitations • exposing a child to upsetting events or situations, like domestic abuse, drugs or drunkenness • failing to promote a child's social development • not allowing a child to have friends • isolating a child from others • persistently ignoring a child • badgering and constantly requiring gratitude • being absent emotionally and/or physically • manipulating a child • never teaching a child self-care • never saying anything kind to the child • never expressing positive feelings toward the child • never congratulating a child on successes • never showing any emotions in interactions with a child, also known as emotional neglect Effects of Physical/Emotional Abuse Individuals who experience physical and/or emotional abuse often feel helpless and isolated and are prone to the subsequent development of numerous pathological conditions, including: • anxiety • behavior issues • criminal behavior • deep sadness • depression • repressed rage • various addictions • drug and alcohol problems • eating disorders • issues at school • obesity / • risky sexual behavior • suicidal thoughts and/or attempts • post-traumatic stress (PTSD) • extreme neediness • low self-esteem • sense if powerlessness • over compliance • Can An Individual Heal and Recover From Abuse? The time it takes to recover and overcome abuse can differ depending on the abuse forms, the relationship and more. An emotionally or verbally abusive relationship can have life-changing, long-lasting effects on your physical and mental health. It is a lot harder to understand whether you are being emotionally abused as you are not being physically hurt; but emotional abuse can be just as serious as physical abuse. Emotional abuse may begin suddenly, or there can be a gradual build up. In some cases, the beginning of a relationship can be quite loving and caring in order to establish a solid, trusting base. The abuser then tends to slowly change their behaviour to manipulate the child into thinking it is the “two of you against the world”. Survivors of physical and emotional abuse can feel shocked, confused and embarrassed when this behaviors happens. Since thses type of abuse can also affect your mental health, causing depression, anxiety, and in some severe cases, PTSD, reach out to a trusted friend or a family member. As mentioned above, experiencing childhood trauma can have harmful, long-lasting effects on an individual’s mental, emotional and physical health. However, there is hope and possibility for every survivor — a beacon of light illuminating the path to healing and transformation. Embrace Your Truth Acknowledging the pain of the past can be an important step toward healing. By shedding light on the unspoken wounds, survivors can feel empowered to break their silence and begin the healing process. Seek support from trusted individuals or professionals who can provide a safe space to express your feelings and validate your experiences. Seek Help and Guidance Within the compassionate embrace of therapy and counseling, survivors discover a path toward reclaiming their lives. Evidence-based therapeutic approaches, like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) provide a sanctuary for healing, offering personalized strategies to transcend trauma’s grasp. Professional guidance can help you navigate complex emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Find Community in Support Groups In the warmth of shared experiences, survivors find solace and strength. Joining a support group, whether it's a 12-Step program, support group provided by a professional, or another support group for survivors, it can help foster a sense of belonging, understanding, and empowerment. Online platforms like EndCAN’s free survivor community group, Louder Than Silence, through Inspire, open doors to a place where survivors can feel safe and be authentic while anonymously sharing experiences and learning from others, reinforcing the belief that no survivor stands alone. Nurture the Body and Mind Self-care and mindfulness are powerful allies in the healing journey. Regular medical check-ups, maintaining personal hygiene, and engaging in activities that promote physical health become acts of self-love. In addition, survivors can nourish their souls with meditation, deep breathing exercises, and other mindfulness practices. Set Boundaries to Establish Healthy Relationships Empowering survivors to honor their worth and establishing healthy boundaries is vital to recovery. By recognizing personal limits, practicing assertiveness, and surrounding themselves with supportive individuals, survivors create protective shields against further harm and foster relationships founded on respect and empathy. Find Illumination in Education Educating oneself about child abuse and its far-reaching effects paves the way for validation, understanding, and resilience. By acquiring knowledge, survivors gain insight into the intricate web of trauma’s impact on their psychological and physical well-being, which can help inform their path forward. Consider Legal Avenues For survivors seeking justice, the support of attorneys or advocates becomes paramount. These professionals can guide survivors through the legal processes, ensuring their rights are protected and aiding them in pursuing justice and closure. Express Yourself Through the captivating language of art, survivors can embark on a powerful experience of self-discovery and healing. Art therapy, writing, and other creative outlets serve as cathartic channels for emotional release, giving survivors a channel to voice their pain, find solace, and redefine their narratives. Practice Patience and Self Compassion Healing from the trauma of child abuse is a complex and intricate journey, requiring time, patience, and resolute self-compassion. Survivors honor their resilience and courage by celebrating even the smallest victories. Each step forward signifies a testament to their strength and the hope that healing is not only possible but within their grasp. Help End Child Abuse and Neglect Within the heart of every adult survivor of child abuse lies the seed of transformation. Embarking on the path of healing helps survivors open themselves to overcome their past and create a future filled with joy and hope. If you or someone you know is struggling with the repercussions of childhood sexual abuse, don’t suffer in silence. Breaking the silence is one way we can stop child abuse. When you’re ready, share your story so other adult survivors of child abuse know they’re not alone. Your generous contribution can also help us provide support and help adult survivors of child abuse heal.